The Ring

Ash nazg durbatulûk, ash nazg gimbatul, ash nazg thrakatulûk, agh burzum-ishi krimpatul.

Roughly translated it reads,

One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,
One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them

I am daftly reminded about these words from one of the greatest movie series of all times “The Lord of the Rings”, when I am looking down on the ring that I will be wearing for my engagement. I am very much in love with the most amazing woman of my life and am really looking forward to spending the rest of my life with her. But there is still a daunting blank when the word marriage comes fourth. I would not say that I am scared but just a bit donno what. There is this bell ringing in my head when I hear the word “Marriage” and the chimes of the bell are turning to deafening noise at the moment, the only question is why?

I am having what is termed in India as a “Love Marriage”, and compared to ‘”Arranged Marriage” in India, “Love Marriages” is a growing trend for one, with very devastating statistics attached to it. Apparently in America at the moment one in 3 marriages end in a divorce. In India, it’s not too great either, it’s getting there slowly. Why am I concerned, well not to be sounding too over sensitive about the issue, I actually love the girl. Yes, and so do so many other people who have divorces later. I am not going to be talking of which one is better, you can read about it here. But i have something to share though, a Software engineers perspective on the two : Love Marriage or Arranged Marriage?

Love Marriage
    1. Resembles procedural programming language. We have some set of functions like flirting, going to movies together, making long conversations on phone and then try to fit all functions to the candidate we like.
    2. Family system hangs because hardware (called Parents) is not responding.
      You are the project leader so “U” are responsible for implementation and execution of PROJECT- married life.
    3. Client expectations include exciting feature as spouse cooking food, washing clothes etc.
    4. Love Marriage is like Windows, beautiful n seductive…. Yet one never knows when it will crash….

Arranged Marriage

    1. Similar to object oriented programming approach. We first fix the candidate and
      then try to implement functions on her. The functions are added to supplement the main program. The functions can be added or deleted.
    2. Compatible with hardware( Parents).
    3. You are a team member under project leader (parents) so they are responsible for successful execution of project Married life.
    4. All these features are covered in the SRS (System Req. Specification) as required features.
    5. Arranged Marriage is like Unix …. boring n colorless… still extremely reliable n robust.
The issue seems to be close for me, considering the fact that my engagement is this weekend. I guess i should say, i donno what the statistics will be for me, cos I am having a Love Marriage which is being arranged at the moment. Well I just hope that this wedding does not end up into another bad statistic, but a good one for the “Love Marriage” trend. As for me, the bells still ringing, the writing on the wall at the moment is roughly translating to
One ring to find them, One ring to Bind them
One ring to confine them and in Marriage destroy them
Having said that I have amazing examples for both. I have shattered examples for both. So, finally I have come to the conclusion, love/arranged, it finally depends on the people who form the institution of marriage, Well since I am one half of the puzzle, i guess i need to handle the relationship with care.
    • bookem, danny
    • May 10th, 2007

    I know how you feel, I married my wife caron on the 15th of april, not even a month ago, just remember, marriage is a noble endevour, and god wills the bringing together of hearts that feel the same towards one another.treat her well and all will be well. Im banking on it myself.

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